Calm Down

Calm down! Caaalmmm DaaawwwnnnN!! was what I emphasised

As I stood behind him screaming like an ardent crusader

All I needed was for him to stop, but then I couldn’t afford to put myself in arms way.

Frank!! She’s dying. Be reasonable and let loose bikonu

But the angry fellow would not desist

O yes I know! She must die today, he affirmed

Poorly she struggled

Managing to mutter before a pause; HELP ME

Obviously exhausted;  Her body spoke a language

One which could only translate to; “helplessly in need of mercy”

Yet; the rage in his eye was a spectacle

His eyes were popping out like testicles

The grip around her neck by now was a perfect tentacle

Draining the little life left in her as though it were via a vivid receptacle

Please!!! help me uncle, she slurred again tearfully…

FRANK!! I exclaimed vengefully

He navigated his gaze towards me. Perhaps to weigh the potency of my violent threat

With a look of disgust upon my peeved ambiance, he softened his grip compassionately

I heaved a sigh of relief synonymous to her desperate gasp for much needed oxygen

But; within that split second I thought as ample enough – as though consumed by a legion of .untamed spasms; who were displeased, and completely provoked,  I attacked his panicky demeanor viciously and with intent. Shattering the threat radically against his bald head, hoping he fell to the earth like a vegetable.

Callus murderer I yelled at him regrettably. But Frank had helped himself with a fragment of my fallow weapon.

I saved her life. But then; he took his own.

back at me!!

I didn’t know how to explain myself to Philip.  He would not just believe; each time I tell him how he’s better off selling cement (in Naij), to starting afresh an immigrant.

So I thought to give him an idea of how the pictures more often available on the web can be misleading via e-mail. But he seemed to have had a better perspective of that idea. Here’s what transpired…

 

Me

Guy!! Don’t blame this pictures when you arrive.

This is the shit hole you dream of.

Philip 

Foolish boy! Don’t blame this picture when you return.


This is the paradise that surrounds it.

besides, if this is you…

I beg na who com be this? James Bond??

Lesson learnt.

Don’t ever discourage your friends. Some of them are not nice.

Surely!!! without a shadow of doubt, they will embarrass you.

CHAI!!! THANK GOD FOR MY LIFE O!

travel gist

It was my first time into the country. I had not a slightest idea what I was heading into. But I’d learnt from experience, of how there’s practically no difference in the way we all reason.

Most often when I travel, there’s one general expression my documents force out of “those people”. I’m talking about that simple expression you get on the faces of immigration officers. As though, you were only welcomed because they are obliged. In my own encyclopaedia of trends, they remain the only people with whom the simple theory, “dress as you wish to be addressed” remains defeated.

Buna ati venit priete nu-meu
Buna!

Che fachet?
Bine! Tu?
Bine
Unde mergem?
Right! Can you speak English please? I’ve spoken all the one I know already
Ah! Nu problema. Are you from “Anglia”
No, I’m from Wales

Unde wales?
What?! I exclaimed although unable to attach the prefix – you don’t know Wales??

Wales! Unde?? He insisted
UK. I replied evidently disgruntled.

UK? That is Anglia right? 
Unable to withstand any more of the frustrating wordless exchange of familiar but meaningless expressions, I said yes!

So my friend, is this your first time in Bucharest?
Yes, I thought to answer. But I knew a very popular trick was about to be played on me. So quickly, I started to trouble my phone for wireless signal.

O!! Come you silly thing.  I need google map now than ever before jor!

Unfortunately, speed didn’t come to aid as seconds chose to crawl and I was left frustrated too quickly. I sensed he looked at me just now even though my head was buried in my 7 inch screen so I replied before he finds out what I was up to with the phone.

No! No! I was here earlier.

Da?(more like saying, yea?) Did you like it? Believing but amazed how much words of his language I had managed to pull out of my arsenal.
O yes! It was lovely. And then I kept shut. Hoping he doesn’t dig deeper.  More so I was running out on vocabulary. Ashiri must not tuu finally.

Strada cretei has refused to load on google even until now ooo. Ha! This man ma gba miiiii!!! (more like saying – he surely has duped me)

Funny thing is, the popular trick is very easy to tackle o. But I totally forgot the rules. I jumped in too quickly. Now I’m at his mercy. If this man doesn’t take me on a proper merry go round ehn? I am more than lucky.

Approaching the traffic light just half a yard ahead, he took his feet off the gas. I shook my head and pitied myself. I wished I could say it in his language but I couldn’t so I muttered it in my dialect shaping my mouth and face into different ugly patterns. Haaaa… Green yi ma di amberrrr!!! And gradually we came to a halt. The red light had just come on. What can I do, but to admire a city with gracious sights by force…

Hmmm I continued to think… This man knows what he is doing. Kai!! There’s no difference between “this” and using a black cab in Cardiff. The bloody metre keeps reading! 

Maintaining eye contact via the rear mirror, he started a conversation. 

My friend, do you know, 10 years ago. Romania was different. People couldn’t even afford to be idle. So they’ll work for nothing than get sent to prisons. Our government was a group of tyrants not leaders
But today. There’s so much freedom. We even have beggars. Look at them. See!

Yeapa!! The idiot speaks English sha. Haaa!!! O ti gba mi nicely meeen. But I couldn’t care less about his gist. What concerned me the most for as long as I was  in his taxi was he taking me through the shortest route.   

O! You speak good English. Thank goodness I muttered wittingly devising a way to change the topic of discussion without tampering with his ability to remain favourable.
Please ehn, don’t stop at the next traffic light you hear. I don’t have more than 5 euro.

Haha. My friend. You can use your credit card. This is airport taxi. We don’t worry about you not having cash.

Shoot!! This guy is mad sha!! So he’s even planning to milk me proper sef. Ha! Mo ti wor gau!!

Look here Mr. Don’t make me regret jumping into your taxi. I don’t have card. Cash! Only cash!!

Nu problema, I shall take you to strade cretei he replied wigwagging his right hand as if to say calm down. (You bloody moron shall surely be milked)

By this time though, it was just one straight mile away from my destination. But he had made a left turn already. And seeing I didn’t realise that was a foul. The mad thing just kept on enjoying the argument.

Don’t worry. Don’t worry. Almost there he said pretending to be calming my nerves. 

About 2 minutes later, we popped out on my street and then I realised the straight road was just behind me.

6.80 euro.  small money my friend. Small!

Reluctantly I paid. Got my luggage off his boot and as he zoomed off. The bloody page had just finished loading. I looked round. Compared the entry point to my position and just then I realised he had taken me on a nice zig zag around the neighbourhood.  Luckily, he reaped me off only 2.80 euros.
I stood there laughing myself to bits before pressing the bell. I laughed so hard I grabbed my head and said aloud; waray ni man ye’n sha.  (meaning –  pure mad man.)

As it stood, I had just learnt my first of many lessons in a strange man’s land. Taxi drivers are all the same; any and everywhere under the sun.

found this deep inside the world of wordpress. and I decided to bring it up to the surface for friends. because it tickled my interest.

An update to going paperless with the iPad I wrote in a previous post about going paperless.  I wanted to give an update.  On the writing side I tried the Pogo stylus but after some time decided I didn't like it.  It's too thin to hold and thus there is not a pen feel to it and the top feels like a piece of sponge cut off and glued on.  Also I didn't like how it felt to write on the screen, it didn't really glide across the screen as I had imagined and it was more forced across the screen … Read More

via Feker

which way please?
 
She looked me in the eye like I was blabing or something.
Unpleasant expressions disfigured her face just as I was done
asking my question. 

24 jules street?! Like I'm a map or what?! Dude walk along! 
That I'm sure was what she said. 

I'd learnt from experience, a hand full of the good looking
ones speak in English, the old speak French.
All around unfortunately, there was no match and I could 
only wait for luck to glow. 
Temperature was below zero, my warmth was fast decreasing.
The wind was so cold it could pierced through my soul, and 
how much longer before I froze began to bother me. 

I'm sure you don't know what happens when you feel 
something you can't express?
Or what happens when you want something you can't ask for?
Or exactly how it feels when all you don't know is the very 
bit you just need?

Well, English was just not good enough to construct a simple 
sentence that meant the very intent of my heart.
I was in Prague. Lost